Romantic musings on a little place called Red Hook…

So, for reasons I do not wish to detail at this time—I’m trying my darndest to maintain an “All is for the best in this best of all possible worlds” attitude here—I have been abruptly flung back into the frenetic rat race that is the New York City housing market for the second time this summer. Yesterday my apartment quest led me to Red Hook. If Staten Island is NYC’s forgotten borough, Red Hook is Brooklyn’s forgotten neighborhood, avec great view of said forgotten borough.

Red Hook really is a charming place, despite the fact that it has received several big “Fuck You’s” from the city, mostly related to transportation, or more appropriately, lack thereof. One of these is the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, which when constructed essentially severed Red Hook from the rest of Brooklyn for all functional purposes.

Next there's the fact that the closest subway station is Smith-9th Streets on the F line, which is not only a 20+ minute schlep of a walk from Red Hook, but also the highest subway station in the city--a whopping 88 feet above street level. That’s right, after you’ve schlepped a good 20 minutes to get to the train, you have to ascend approximately a million, billion stairs (only some flights of which have escalators) in the dirtiest, most neglected train station I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. If you’re lucky enough to make it to the top, you’re treated to a lovely view of the Statue of Liberty…IF you make it to the top. Last night I watched a morbidly obese man with a cane lumber up the final stretch of stairs. Seriously, the MTA owes that dude an ice cream cone at the very least.

Finally, there’s the IKEA ferry, which can get you to Manhattan, but only if you give at least $10 to the Sweeds, and then another $5 to the water taxi…not such a good deal, even when faced with the prospect of the never-ending schlep to Smith & 9th.

All that notwithstanding, Red Hook really is an oft-overlooked gem of a neighborhood. Here are a few reasons why:

• Lovely views of New York Harbor
• Cobblestone streets and abandoned street cars/tracks, oh la la
• Delicious Key Lime Pie
• Hella-sweet industrial/maritime architecture from days of yore

All in all, the on-the-verge-of-gentrifying-but-not-quite-there-yet feel mixed with the gritty old buildings and salty sea air left me feeling like I could bump into a swarthy old sailor smoking a pipe and saying things like “ahoy landlubber, why don’t ye join me for a drink” at any minute. Unfortunately this was not the case, but I did enjoy a saunter through the maze that is Fairway (motto “Shop Locally, Eat Globally” – so not cool), and a beautiful NY sunset before headin’ home to the big city. Oh, and in case you actually remember why I started this post in the first place, the apartment turned out to be “eh”, and the potential roommate was drunk and/or high, and seemed to want me to prove to him that I was cool enough to live with his artsy self. Awesometown.